His piece stop violence means that a
proactive they really want to think about it and that you're making
a commitment to not.
Hurt someone else who's peace top of violence means to me that we
need to look at more civility in society between students or young people
and also adults and by doing that one of the ways we can do that's
really have dialog and discussion about different issues doesn't mean we have to
agree, but at least building awareness listen to each other and the respect.
Will choose peace stop violence means to me making giving
children the opportunity to have an education to be in school without having
to worry about violence and having to worry about other kids picking on them.
I want a peaceful nonviolent. A
care in Thai put environment for my son
like a safe school experience. We can learn and the so
from an come out of the part of clubs and not worry about anything
and are being a leader or any other violence of a nature.
For my daughter, I want her to be able to go to school in a safe peaceful
environment which she's accepted and respected for who she is over that might
be pretty be respected for who. She is hi and welcome to this
special episode of reality avenues character Siri I'm Donna.
And I'm Paul and today we're talking about choosing peace in stopping
violence. We hear about bullying in the news and we know that if it's not
addressed immediately. It can escalate so how can we help keep our
kids safe.
It starts with S parents our children's first and most important
teachers we hold the power to help them stop pulling out
with these 3 puzzle pieces they need to know what bullying is why
they should care and what they can do about it so let's get started today,
show we'll teach you how to communicate these 3 elements to your children
so they can choose peace and stop violence. How is billing to find
bullying is intentional repeated hurtful action against someone who has
less power.
Bullying can be verbal physical or emotional abuse like exclusion
rumor, spreading and cyberbullying we use the acronym rip
to help us remember what bullying is it has to be all 3
are repeated I in balance of power
and P purposeful with the intent to harm another
knowing that bullying has to include all 3 of these elements helps to keep us
from confusing it with conflict or mutual joking, let's watch a true
example of bullying.
Watch and see if you can pick out the are the eye and the pay
and she.
A pink shirt.
That's so, totally does your boyfriend yet about think sure.
Yes years yesterday to stop calling me names. I don't care what you like
nobody likes you come on, let's go.
Why should we care enough to stop it. Well in bullying happens our children
are almost always involved as I did the person doing the bullying. The
person targeted or the bystander the majority are bystanders
about 80% that's who the person bullying is trying to impress with their
cruelty when bystanders try to help and let the bully know their behaviors on
wanted the bully usually stops within 10 seconds but peers are only intervening
about 10 to 20% of the time why so little let's Oscar children.
One time when I felt bullying, I didn't know what to do. I was scared
and now it's never a fake because I didn't want to hurt and in late want to
like get the other person had all students don't stop blowing because
maybe they're not brave enough or they just don't want to be that
outside cats.
I stopped going by talking to my friends. Betty Lee's know if last
season's but I would tell him don't lose because of this and that you know that
I'm on is not worth it, you know why trying to solve a problem by making of
the problem when I see bullying. I don't rush into that situation
I used well now I would just tell an adult find an adult
that's closest to me that my son is the one that has the power to go to someone
instead of like going to be a fight fight fight go to someone if your device
and go to someone go to not go to a teacher that your mom someone that can
back you up because distinct that the numbers when you see someone had an
argument I see some a group of kids, you know Reagan the fight here on the sizing
Phi Phi Phi, you're egging them on to fight, but if you want to say OK guys
does not do this.
And then there are other friends, you know to to is not cool. But that couple
is not do is bystander fears are almost always based in minutes,
we have to replace the fears with facts before our children will act.
It's our fears and facts that you want to discuss with your child.
They'll retaliate and I'll become the next targets truth
if I do nothing the bully increases and a more likely to get hurt myth
number 2 if I try to help it will get worse.
Truth any help is wanted help when piers intervene the bullying
stops within 10 seconds in the majority of cases.
Myth number 3, I can't prove the bullying happened.
It's not about proving for punishment but helping in stopping the abuse.
Myth number 4. I can't trust authority figures.
There's always one adult I can trust buoying rates almost always decrease
with effect of adult intervention.
Myth number 5 ignore bullying and it will go away.
Fully will continue to escalate if the North
myth number 6 bullying is someone else's responsibility.
I'm part of the problem and the solution I hold the power to choose
peace and stop violence.
Myth number 7 targets need to learn to stand up for themselves and
deal with the situation.
Truth targets are usually younger or physically smaller than their attackers.
So they can't deal with the situation alone.
Myth number 8 if there's no blood it's not serious.
Emotional bullying is often more damaging than physical bullying.
It's number 9, teachers know it's Boeing is happening. I don't need
to tell anyone.
Bullying can be subtle and often takes place out of the teacher site.
They need your help to know so they can stop it, you look like a freak.
Here's a visual example, how to address the fear of losing friends because no
one will like those who intervened.
This is a jolt. You.
When you discuss the scenario, your child will likely admit the fact that
they respect and preferred to be with the student who offers health targets
of bullying suffer both short and long-term damage like missing school out
of fear trouble studying bad grades
depression as well as thoughts of revenge and suicide, but did
you know the damage to bystanders. Israel and at last 2 bystanders
who don't intervene feel fear guilt shame and helplessness
they also lose faith in the helpfulness of adults school connected this hope
and empathy for others.
So how can our children best intervene when they see bullying.
Students often fear intervening, they fear jumping in the middle and getting
hurt. But the fact is it's only one way to help and it's not what they should
be doing if the surf line.
A frame a child will step in a situation and think you can handle
it when he can these days fighting is it like it was when we
were in school where it's just a nose or lack,
to know their bodies jump in and stop
you and that's life threatening. So I'm afraid it's going to get into a
situation that he can.
These are all claim to teach your child the 2 styles of intervention, direct
and indirect help them find their own way of intervening, let's take
a look direct interventions distract say to the target
pay can you help me with something over here.
If you know the Billy talk to her alone later and share how others may be seeing
her behavior negatively morning.
Hunger.
I think I did she was she was just a you know a bystander encouraging the Boeing
doctor later about how she's making a bad situation worse and that she's
better than that here some indirect
interventions speak to the target later
say, hi invite them to lunch, introduce them to your friends
offer to walk into class get help by making an anonymous report.
While you're working with your child make sure to address the fear that
reporting is snitching it's not reporting is telling his son
to help staging his tackling done to get someone in trouble over silly
issues are things that can handle themselves.
Did is we tell not to get people in trouble but to help protect
and keep others from harm heroes tell shared this example,
it's 2 in the morning in your neighbor sees a man crawling into your bedroom
window, you wanted to call the police and tell closes blinds and
say not my problem, I'm no snitch children aren't doing their
friends. Any favors by letting them learn to abuse others. The fact is
students who bully are much more likely to drop out of school have criminal
charges have substance abuse issues and commit family violence as adults.
If no one helps students who bully learn healthy ways to meet their needs for
power. It will continue to abuse others even though they're hurting themselves
in the process finally bullying can be reduced, but it will never
be completely eliminated. Prepare your child for the day, someone says or
does something on kind of them a well-prepared child is a confident child
use the acronym safer to teach your child, the best ways to respond
if they are the target of bullying we want to stand positive and strong
used body language such as eye contact.
Posture, and calm assertiveness use I statements such as
I don't like being called names I want you to stop and if they continue
to back off your child can even agree by sticking to the facts. Yes,
I have glasses.
You know really don't appreciate you calling me that, and I wish.
Stop that so that off but what if they
say they're going to beat me up after school. Well first, you know again
walk with a friend, somebody to support of.
Avoid the situation avoid places times
and people who are dangerous don't be alone if approached
make an excuse and exit.
Support now, let's put on new science teacher and you fear for your safety.
Mrs. Santiago, I need your help I'm coming to you because I can handle it.
The best comeback is to ignore their words and go to support of friends or
adults express your feelings, talk to
those who can support you and support yourself with positive messages. The
opposite of what is being said, I'm smart wonderful a really good
friends and I deserve to be treated with respect.
Change the subject distract the bully by asking an unrelated questions
such as.
You can even use humor it fits your style, you know, the thing ice think
just my friend he makes right got her left and speed stick
slow down. For now it's your time reading you get low play with him both
as part of it and the bully should they now lack does have a response to
couple of questions for ice, yes, I do have classes things
have your child Tuesday insult or act based on what they fear might happen
to them.
During this process, your child may confide in you that they're being
bullied how do you respond with the 4 A's from they did
the right thing telling you that what happened is not their fall asked
questions in a calm and supportive manner to gather information assess
the level of danger then act in the way that keeps your child safest
and stop the bullying if the bullying involves the school work with them
cooperatively and reported immediately to your child's teacher and principal
the best results happen when you focus on your child's happiness and safety,
not just punishment regularly check in with your child and follow
up with the school to provide support and protection, the nature of bullying
is to be repeated so it may not stop just one reporting what
if your child is the one bullying others, thank them for telling you
explore their motivations if it's for power and popularity, how
could they meet these needs in a positive way focus on their strengths
and talents encourage them to apologize which Roh your child
plays in the bullying. Triangle sometimes having a trained professional
provide support and skill building health so reach out you'll be happy
you did.
We work together we can accomplish great things continue to role model kindness
respect and the other core character traits in your home together we hold the
power to choose peace and stop violence.
I have the power to choose peace and stop violence and want peace
I want peace it's time to stop the violence is time
to stop the violence is time for us to look at listening
to each other communicating better for most of all loving each other in the
way that we should remember characters, the core of our lives and who we
choose to be there's not a spot where characters not see you
next time on reality avenues character series by.
For more information and resources on bullying and violence prevention or in
character building. Please visit the Office of inventions website Brower
prevention dot or these videos have been made possible through funding from the
Partnership for character education initiative.